Deadly Sin #2 - Serving the Wrong Master

Ever watch a group perform and walk away feeling kind of sleazy?  You might even admire their skill, and think they are amazingly talented, and respect that talent, but nonetheless have a negative impression.

So if they are so wonderful, why don't you like them?

Perhaps you've walked away and thought to yourself, "they are amazing, and they know it!"  Well those people have committed Deadly Sin #2, by serving the wrong master - in this case, themselves.

In some sense performance is just like any other kind of job - you have to keep the boss happy!  If you don't know who is buttering your bread, you need to know: it's the audience!  The money they pay for tickets makes everything possible.  Even if they are a non-paying audience, the performance opportunity exists for *some* concrete reason, even if it's just advertising or marketing for some sponsor.  The head-count is all important, and if you're a draw, you're serving your purpose.  And this is not much different in the amateur and semi-pro performance leagues - if nobody comes to see you, you're not a performer, you're just a rehearser.  You might as well be bowling.

If you're wondering whether you are committing this sin, just ask yourself why you do it.  Why do you perform?  There's no need to be embarrassed if the answer comes back as "to feed my ego" or "to prove I can do it" or even "so people will like me."  But it might explain why you're not getting the response you were hoping for.  Somehow people know.  And if the audience doesn't like you, deep down in some level of their thinking, it doesn't matter much how good you are at your chosen craft.  Obstacles will pop up everywhere.

If you're out on stage for a self-centered reason, you can't really do your job.  You will have no choice but to worry more or less constantly about what the audience is thinking of you.  Very likely you will get nervous, if you are at all inclined towards anxiety, especially if (god forbid!) something goes wrong!  Even if everything is going well out there, your attention must be split between the authentic purpose of the art you are creating, and how you think everyone is evaluating that art.  You can never be at your best, in a divided state of mind like that.

So if you're performing for your own glorification, things can not go well for long.  But there are many other wrong masters to choose from!  Performing to make someone else happy - your director, your parents, your teacher, whomever - is perhaps more noble than simple self-aggrandizement, but the audience can still tell it's not all about them, and again the focus of your attention will be split.

Acting is not so interactive as a musical or dance performance, but it's still quite possible to act for self-glorification, or what Stanislavski called exhibitionism.  And he called it "the worst kind of acting" - you can't be true to the purpose of the play if you can't stop saying "look at me" long enough to focus on the scene!  (My 2-year-old says "look at me" constantly, and he's pretty entertaining, but that's another story!)

My advice - to avoid Sin #2, find a reason in your heart to perform in the service of the audience.  Everything good in stage performance ultimately comes from that decision.