That video camera is lying!

Did you ever wonder what you really look like to other people?  How you really come across?  Have you ever had that irrational fear that you're really, really dumb and everyone else is just playing along to make you believe otherwise?  (Hmm... that was personal... maybe I should have kept that to myself...)

I am primarily a singer, and I remember the first time I heard my voice recorded.  I'm sure you'll recognize the five stages of grief:

1. Denial - "That can not be me!"  Then when you realize that nobody is playing a practical joke,
2. Anger - "Why didn't you tell me I sounded like that??"
3. Bargaining - OK to be honest I'm not sure about bargaining in this situation... some psychologist might step in and help me here... but then clearly to;
4. Depression - I suck.  If I really sound like that, I have no business being a singer.  Kill me now.  Then finally;
5. Acceptance - OK that's what I sound like.  What can I do about it?

Faced with the decision to improve my voice or give up singing forever, I got some vocal training.

Then I did the same thing all over again, repeatedly, with regard to my own stage performance.  I saw recorded videos of myself speaking to a large audience and nearly died of my own hand.  Well I do have extreme reactions sometimes...

Anyway it might be quite painful to go through these stages, but it's also very necessary if you plan to make progress.  You need to find out what *reality* is, because I guarantee that your assumptions are wrong.  Then once you've got a handle on how you sound and/or how you look, you can do something about it.  Grandpa Metzger used to say to me, "Tom, if you don't know where you are, you can't get where you want to go."  He said some crazy stuff, but that one works!

If you are ready to embark upon this horrible but fascinating journey, to the betterment of your own performance, here's how to do it.

1. Take a deep breath.  Cross yourself (if that's how you roll)
2. Set up the most realistic performance environment you can.  A real one would be the ultimate here, but you can do pretty well by setting up a "stage" and getting some high quality video or audio recording equipment, which these days does not break the bank.
3. Do your thing.  Do it all the way - just like you would in the real world.  Don't sabotage yourself just so you can say, "yeah that sucked, but I wasn't really trying."  Really get in and do it.
4. Take another deep breath (see #1)
5. Watch it.  Listen to it.
6. Commence with the stages of grief (see above)
7. Get some coaching!

In the first draft of this article, I completely forgot to say how it worked out for me.  I'm happy to report that I can now listen to myself and enjoy the sound, and I can watch myself perform on video and be happy with that as well.  I assume that it's partly that I've learned from all the feedback, and partly that I've just become used to all the things that surprised me at first.

Let us all know how it goes!